Climbing Over Mountains
Waking up this morning was very sad. I was hoping for a glimmer of communication that did not pan out. My mind is racing with which direction to turn to. As I keep this thought process fresh (waiting) I begin realizing that my expectations are at play again.
"Climbing over mountains..." I am reminded of the hurdles I have faced in life so far. Deaths of my children, not having a solid grasp on what would be considered "family life", being locked up in prison. Over every step I have faced, I have seen nothing but adversity, and at those critical steps in life, over time I was able to overcome them, if even only temporarily. I look at the huge mountain of life (hurdles) and I am beginning to ask myself, why exactly am I trying to get to the top of this mountain? If it is for the sake of getting to the other side, can I find an alternative route around the mountain? If it is for the sake of getting to the peak, why wouldn't I just take my time and enjoy the walk.
Every day I live, I breathe, this mountain will be there. Why am I in such a rush to get around or get to the peak. Once there what will happen? The possibilities are endless, but my expectations are too high. I expect the walk to be peaceful, but I know this will not be the case. All roads will have twists, and turns. All roads through or around are potentially filled with animals, some deadly. All roads through or around are possibly filled with rain, thunderstorms, and nature that will be out of my control.
Lessons for today: "Stay in the moment" this is what matters most. I expected to receive some form of call. I desired this, I wanted this so bad, that initially my day felt as if it would go south. These are my thoughts and beliefs dictating how my day will go.
“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” ~Bruce Lee
When you are controlled by your expectations, you are living a contingent life; you cannot be free in the present moment. You cannot be happy with a beautiful sunset or with a moment of warmth between you and another; instead, every experience is interpreted in the context of an expected future. Can you feel how enslaving this is to you? It would be one thing if in fact you could control the future, but is that the case? I suspect not. To deny the truth of life is a fool's errand and is costly to your well-being.Just like that (after reading) I need to focus right now on my expectations and minimizing my "wants." It is a difficult process as I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs. I just know that it will accomplish nothing at the end of the day other than waste my breathe. The complications of life have me temporarily blinded as I do not know which road to walk down. There is so much to work on, and the more I try to de-clutter my mind, the more I am realizing how much work I have to do.
In contrast to expectations, possibilities are based in the present moment, where you're alive to the mystery of life. You live as fully as you can in the present moment based on your values, which reflect your preferences for the future, but you do not assume that the future will come to pass, because you realize that the future is unknown. Being open to possibilities acknowledges that what you may think you want changes with time, or that there is another future that will bring you equal or more happiness, or that the future may turn bleak, or that you may die before any future can unfold. Real joy, then, is that which is available to you right now.
Living a life that is open to possibilities is more like a request, a prayer, or an act of witnessing your faith in life. Your well-being is not contingent on the future. Your mind is open and inspired in this moment. You therefore have more access to imagination and intuition. Your mind is clear and less reactive, and you make better decisions. You respond rather than react to life as it unfolds.
"Climbing over mountains..." I am reminded of the hurdles I have faced in life so far. Deaths of my children, not having a solid grasp on what would be considered "family life", being locked up in prison. Over every step I have faced, I have seen nothing but adversity, and at those critical steps in life, over time I was able to overcome them, if even only temporarily. I look at the huge mountain of life (hurdles) and I am beginning to ask myself, why exactly am I trying to get to the top of this mountain? If it is for the sake of getting to the other side, can I find an alternative route around the mountain? If it is for the sake of getting to the peak, why wouldn't I just take my time and enjoy the walk.
Every day I live, I breathe, this mountain will be there. Why am I in such a rush to get around or get to the peak. Once there what will happen? The possibilities are endless, but my expectations are too high. I expect the walk to be peaceful, but I know this will not be the case. All roads will have twists, and turns. All roads through or around are potentially filled with animals, some deadly. All roads through or around are possibly filled with rain, thunderstorms, and nature that will be out of my control.
Lessons for today: "Stay in the moment" this is what matters most. I expected to receive some form of call. I desired this, I wanted this so bad, that initially my day felt as if it would go south. These are my thoughts and beliefs dictating how my day will go.
“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” ~Bruce Lee
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